Tantrums & Tutus - 2009 Quotes of the Year
December 28, 2009
Springboks coach Peter de Villiers hit the headlines again in 2009 with his outspoken views © Getty Images
Mauro Bergamasco Lee Byrne Danny Cipriani Justin Harrison Sir Graham Henry Martin Johnson Stephen Jones Bernard Lapasset Ian McGeechan Nick Mallett Euan Murray Brian O'Driscoll Dean Richards Jamie Roberts John Smit Frans Steyn Gareth Thomas Steve Thompson Phil Vickery Jonny Wilkinson
Our Quote Unquote feature endeavours to bring you some of the more interesting soundbites from the world of rugby and the last 12 months has produced a few gems.
We have trawled through the archives to bring you our favourites from the past year - some were controversial, others were hilarious but we'll let you choose which category they fall into!
It's that man again...
"What I have learnt in South Africa is that if you take your car to a garage and the owner is a black man and they mess up, you never go back to that garage again. If the owner is a white man you say they made a mistake and you go back again. And that is how we live our lives in this country."
"I don't think it should have been a card at all."
"If it's the case that we are, why don't we all go to the nearest ballet shop, get some nice tutus and get some great dancing going on? No eye-gouging, no tackling, no nothing. Then enjoy."
"We would like to apologise to the rugby community for the erroneous impression that acts of foul play are in any way condoned by South African rugby."
Six Nations shockers...
"At the moment there aren't any quality alternatives."
"I'm more worried than excited."
"I think I've learnt my lesson there and I think Mauro will be considered as a flanker...I thought of replacing him after 25 minutes but out of respect I left him on the field."
"Knowledge is knowing that tomato is a fruit, while wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad."
"He taught me maths poorly but rugby, that was something else."
"It was going straight but just didn't have the legs."
"My head was squeaking when I was walking."
"I can categorically deny that. There was no physical confrontation."
The Lions roar...
"In my opinion, you cannot be a legendary rugby player if you haven't been a Lion."
"You know you've had a **** game when you get text messages from your mum, your sister and your Mrs saying that they still love you."
"That's not what you said when you were crying on my bed after he didn't pick you for the first Test."
"It's not Hamlet, it's rugby."
"Am I angry with him? I think it is unbelievably sad."
"My situation highlights the dangers to elite rugby players of excess drinking and illicit substances. Whether in season or out those dangers should be avoided."
"Naturally opinions differed in several areas of the ELV programme."
"Without a shadow of a doubt, I can be better than I've ever been tomorrow. When I am fit and on the field, that is the day I can be the best I've ever been. I can picture that in my head, I can see it happening."
"That one was for Macca."
"I wasn't looking for another chance, I was looking for a last chance."
Laught out loud...
"Justin Harrison is not a patient man. I think he struggles to untangle the Christmas lights without losing it."
"They've got all the elements of a quintessential Mills & Boon romance: jet set locations, hunky alpha male heroes and hot sex, but in a rugby context."
"Perhaps we'll be able to shop for quality at Waitrose; if not, we'll be looking for some bargains at Morrisons"
"If you drive a big car here you are seen as a bit of a muppet."
"My mother is devastated at the news as all three sons will be leaving next season. I'll be moving to Gloucester, Jamie's moving to France and my younger brother is hoping to go away to University. But on a positive note it frees up her weekends."
"He's not a goalkicker, he's a rocket launcher"
"Minutes later they arrested me, we were walking to the car and I corrected myself - I was Lesley Vainikolo."
"'I am looking at your arms and they are huge. Can you tell me how many centimetres they are and also who has the biggest arms of all the Wallabies players?''
"I had to find out what Twitter was. I thought it was the new guy playing fly-half for England."
"This is the second best day of my life - the best day was when I lost my virginity."
"Someone text me saying he's a bit like I used to be, but more athletic, funnier and better looking."
Not only, but also...
"Rugby and Rio together -- great sport, great party. I mean, we're made for each other, really."
"It's basically all or nothing, following Jesus. I don't believe in pick 'n' mix Christianity."
"What I choose to do when I close the door at home has nothing to do with what I have achieved in rugby."
"The loudest cheer at a rugby game, away from social media gimmicks, pumping music and pyrotechnics will always be for a try." Tom Hamilton on the Twickenham atmosphere
"The only thing that will stop this England team from becoming a great team is themselves. They need to ask themselves 'what can we be?'" The Phil Vickery column
The latest Monday Maul looks at the hectic final weekend, the Lions hangover, the superb Mike Brown and the 'selfie'
"At the crux of this England team is a lack of fear, they are not afraid to throw playbooks out of the window." Tom Hamilton reports from Twickenham